


Running

by IAmAshamedOfMyFanfics (faraandmera)



Category: B.A.P
Genre: Crime AU, Friendship, Gen, and likely murder, future violence, i just want them to not be fucking betrayed for once is that too much to ask
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-22
Updated: 2017-03-26
Packaged: 2018-09-26 07:45:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9874124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faraandmera/pseuds/IAmAshamedOfMyFanfics
Summary: It starts in high school. It starts with running away. It starts with a home. They should probably regret it, but they don’t.





	1. It Starts With

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr version: http://iamashamedofmyfanfics.tumblr.com/post/157576797215/running-1

It start’s in high school. Adults have too many ideas about what one should do with their life even without asking them what they _want_. Neither of them are happy with that, but Himchan probably would have continued on anyway. Though, it takes very little convincing to have both of them agreeing.

Why follow anyone else’s ideas?

Yongguk may be the one who presents the idea, offhand and jokingly. They should run off and start a life a crime. Just out of spite. But Himchan is the one who draws up plans and eventually get’s them on the same page.

While Yongguk sets fire the the college applications he’s supposed to fill out in front of his parents, Himchan leaves with no warning.

They should regret the choice, when stealing the survive and missing their families becomes their day to day. They don’t.

It start’s in high school. Though noisy, Youngjae and Daehyun are good kids. They get good grades, they do all their work. Neither are happy. Youngjae’s family is in too much debt, Daehyun’s family too absent to know what he wants. Colleges cost too much, they might not notice if he applies at all.

Daehyun jokingly gives the idea. They should run away and start a life of crime. Youngjae laughs at him, they’re not cut out for crime, besides there are too many known gangs close by for that to be a reasonable option.

Yet, when graduation comes and they’re forced to face their coming futures, they don’t bother to think about it. Pretend they know what they’re doing more than they really do and just… run.

They should regret the choice. When struggling to eat from day to day and running from bigger, stronger groups of people. Yet, they don’t.

It starts after high school. Himchan has gotten good at stealing things that look nice, Youngjae is freezing half to death. Daehyun is starving, Yongguk just happens to be talking about a restaurant when he passes by.

Himchan grabs Youngjae by the wrist, glares down at him like he’s personally insulted Himchan’s entire existence. Daehyun stumbles back, glances between the other three. Yongguk flips a lighter around in his hand, eyebrows raised.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

“I- just- I only would have taken spare change.” Youngjae holds his other hand up, trying to defend himself.

“Youngjae don’t admit that,” Daehyun whispers.

“Like he’d believe me if I said I wasn’t stealing?”

“Still.” Daehyun glances again at Yongguk, then at Himchan. “Please let him go, he’s stupid.”

“I get straight A’s!”

“You haven’t gotten a grade it two years.”

“Shut up.”

“How old are you?” Yongguk finally speaks, putting his hands in his pockets.

“Twenty.” Daehyun is the one to offer, swallowing his nervousness.

“Why are you stealing?”

“Who cares?” Youngjae scoffs, and immediately regrets it, wishing he could sink into the ground when Himchan glares at him again.

“Who cares?” Daehyun repeats, frowning, before muttering to himself. “My stomach cares.”

It starts over lunch. Youngjae and Daehyun eye the food in front of them suspiciously. Himchan and Yongguk watch them with just as much suspicion. It’s not pleasant.

“Look,” Youngjae starts, glancing at the exit before back to the two across from them. “I’m sorry I tried to steal from you, we- uh- desperate times call for desperate measures?”

“And you guys look well off.”

“Daehyun.”

“What? Those were your words.”

“They don’t need to know that!”

Himchan glances to Yongguk beside him, who shrugs.

“We aren’t.” Himchan draws their attention back to him.

“Sure,” Youngjae mutters.

“By the way,” Yongguk starts, ignoring the comment, “you take a good look at where the exit is?”

“Uh…”

“Because you’re gonna need to run.”

“I told you they were gonna kill us,” Daehyun whispers.

“We aren’t,” Himchan shakes his head, “but you might be arrested. We can’t pay for this.”

“What?!” Daehyun looks down at the food in front of him, back up at Himchan, then back down.

“Are you kidding me?!” Youngjae gasps.

“We’ve stolen everything we own.” Yongguk shrugs, leaning on the table to glance at the staff. “They’ll ask us about the bill soon.”

“We’re going to be arrested.” Youngjae buries his face in his hands. At the sound of fork hitting plate he looks past his hands at Daehyun, who is stuffing food into his mouth. “Daehyun.”

“First meal in weeks, maybe last as a free man, you can’t stop me.”

“…You have a point.” Youngjae follows suit. Himchan and Yongguk share another look.

Yongguk laughs. “If you don’t want this to be the last, be ready to run.”

“And to follow us.” Himchan adds.

A four man group is formed.

It starts in high school. It starts then, but nothing happens until college. Junhong is drowning in student loans, Jongup doesn’t even want to be there in the first place.

Junhong jokingly says they should just leave, start a life of crime. Jongup is the last person who would agree to such a thing. Jongup gets another message from his family, about how proud they’ll be when he’s a lawyer. Junhong gets another letter from the bank he’d taken his student loan from.

Jongup jokingly suggests they start a life of crime. Junhong agrees. Their school gets no warning.

They should regret it. When Jongup’s family reports him missing, when Junhong’s parents worriedly text him about his disappearance. They should regret leaving without saying anything, at least. They don’t.

It starts with an easy target. A well-off looking man bragging about his wealth over the phone. He’s so obliviously unguarded despite all his bragging, and it seems like an easy thing. He wont notice a few missing bills.

Jongup trips over Daehyun. Junhong crashes into Youngjae. They bump into the chair of the man, who has enough money to throw around to have all four kicked out of the restaurant.

“Look what you did!” Youngjae points accusingly.

“What I did?! This isn’t my fault! Right Jongup?” Junhong looks to Jongup who nods.

“Of course not. We were trying to- we were in the process of-”

“Stealing?” Daehyun offers.

“Ye- No. No of course not.”

“We aren’t crooks,” Junhong adds.

“We were trying to steal from him too.” Youngjae motions between himself and Daehyun. Sputtering, Jongup and Junhong look to each other for some sort of response.

“Youngjae you can’t just say that.” Daehyun makes a face.

“What are they gonna do? Turn us in? For the same thing they were doing? That’s like if we turned Himchan or Yongguk in.”

“Uh,” Junhong starts, interrupting them, “are you in a gang?”

“Yes.”

“Daehyun!”

“You basically admitted the same thing!”

“Can I join your gang?”

“Junhong!”

“What?” Junhong turns to Jongup, eyebrows raised. “It’s safer than how we have been.”

“I see your point but…”

It starts with Himchan and Yongguk staring down the two that Youngjae and Daehyun bring back with them.

“No.” Himchan’s blunt response has Jongup and Junhong stumbling over arguments.

“Aw, come on, give them a chance.” Daehyun put his hands on Jongup’s shoulders. “Look at this kid, don’t you trust him?”

“I don’t trust anyone.”

“What about us?” Youngjae ask, frowning.

“Especially you.”

“Rude.”

“I think we should give them a chance.” Yongguk shrugs at the shocked expression Himchan gives him. “We kept Daehyun.”

“Hey!”

“Exactly!” Youngjae’s agreement has Himchan sighing.

“Fine.”

“He’ll do anything if Yongguk thinks it’s a good idea,” Daehyun whispers. Or tries and fails too. Himchan glares, though it goes ignored.

“Is he the leader?” Junhong asks, looking between the four who he’s not familiar with yet.

“He doesn’t want to be, so Himchan is. But he really is.” Daehyun throws his arms over Junhong and Jongup’s shoulders. “Welcome to the team, kids.”

“I am not a child.”

“If you have to say that you probably are.”

It starts with running away from responsibilities. It starts with running away from home. It starts with running.

It starts with six. It starts with regret that they should all feel, but don’t.

It starts with a home.


	2. There's A Bar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's weird, after moving around so much, to have a place they can rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> with both the bar and youngjae with darts, they are references to skydive. both skydive and one shot will probably be referenced in certain parts but i PROMISE there wont be any betrayal.

There’s a bar- more of a club, really- owned by a nice man, the funds of which are constantly under siege by a gang that operates nearby. It’s a shame, too, the place is really nice. Lights not too much to be obnoxious, drinks good enough to be worth the costs, environment warm enough to drown out cold from outside, but cool enough for drunk patrons to not get sick as quickly.

If anything, they like the atmosphere. Which is why, when the owner- and bartender- regretfully tells Yongguk they’ll likely be closing soon, he’s disappointed.

“I can’t keep up with both actual bills and the gangs.”

Junhong is the one to suggest it, when disappointment is clear on the others’ faces. “Why don’t we help?”

There are plenty of reasons they wouldn’t. They’re outnumbered, they haven’t been a gang nearly long enough to hold any power, the other gang is well known and bringing them down would bring more enemies.

 _“Let’s do it.”_ Himchan makes plans. Yongguk refines them, tells him what’s missing, how much preparation they’ll actually need. Daehyun finds someone willing to trade weapons and keep their mouth shut. Yongguk gives them all positions. Junhong and Jongup sneak about, find more information about the gangs hideout and numbers. Himchan makes sure everyone is on the same page. Youngjae finds out when the other gangs leader is around.

They strike.

There’s a gangs hideout, it’s basically an abandoned warehouse, and it’s not as secure as said gang would like to think. Himchan is the first to fire, hands shaky but with one thought. _If he doesn’t then they will, and then his group will loose someone._

One shot’s fired, then everyone is diving for cover. Accusations, questions, are thrown from the other gang. Threats against their lives.

Himchan keeps his distance, keeps behind cover, watches for any signs of his team- friends- being hurt.

Junhong is more reckless, but he’s a fast person and a lucky one. Is out of the way just in time, is just a second faster than the person pulling the trigger. His hands shake, he misses a lot of his shots, but he tries.

Jongup is less reckless, but still comes out of cover too much. Too many times when he could easily be hurt. His hands are more steady, he takes less shots but makes more of them.

Yongguk is controlled. Stills against the pillar he makes his cover, stay’s low and takes shots after long intervals. He, too, spends more time taking glances over his friends than actually firing.

Daehyun is not calm. Not in the slightest. But he’s not shaking, either. Has gone still from behind cover and only breaks out of it to give cover fire to the reckless breaking away from cover that Junhong and Jongup are doing.

Youngjae is calm. Eyes narrowed, tunnel vision on the enemy. He’s barely paying attention to himself, or the others, and that in and of itself is worrying. Still, he stay’s fine aside from a few grazes, and moves when he’s pulled behind cover.

There’s a hideout. It’s supposed to belong to a gang there, but it can’t really belong to a gang that doesn’t exist. Himchan doesn’t know how they pull it off. Yongguk pats the others on the back, reminding them they’re alive.

They’re _alive_. Somehow, even, they’re victorious.

There’s a bar. The owner knows, they know he does, and Yongguk considers that they may have to deal with him too. A sad thought considering what they’d done to keep the bar running. 

However, the owner thanks them.

There’s a deal. They can be in the bar, whenever the want even after closing, even get free drinks, as long as they keep the owner from being extorted by other gangs. It’s not an arrangement any of them have arguments about.

Most of them don’t drink often, anyway. Yongguk still pays from all of their drinks, despite the arrangement.

Jongup seems to enjoy the club-like atmosphere of the place. Or maybe just the music that it brings with it. Junhong does too, though he’s much less interested in it when it’s packed to the brim with people.

Daehyun likes to sit at the bar, sip at a drink, stuff his mouth with whatever food he brought with him, and watch other people. He’ll talk with the others whenever they aren’t doing anything else, and forget that they’re all criminals.

Youngjae discovers a dart-throwing talent he wasn’t aware he had. One he uses to trick unaware patrons out of money. Himchan tells him he’s going to get into a fight like that, Youngjae shrugs the worry away.

Himchan prefers the place when it’s empty. When the atmosphere is still there, but the people aren’t. Is happy to sit there while he makes plans or figures out how they’re actually doing on funds.

Yongguk is glad to have kept the place running.

There’s a bar. It’s become their hideout, even though they hadn’t intended it. A third advantage they gained in taking out the other gang. The first was to keep the place running, the second was the money they found being kept by the other gang.

There’s a bar.

“What do you mean? I just do better under pressure.” Youngjae holds his hands up, staring up at the man who he’d just beaten at darts.

“You lying-”

“Youngjae!” Himchan calls. “Are you done being bad at darts over there? I need your help.”

“I’m not bad at darts! I just won!”

“Oh.” Himchan glances at the dart board, then at Youngjae. “That’s a first.”

“You could pretend it’s not.”

The other man huffs, not totally convinced, and walks away leaving Youngjae with his earnings.

“So,” Youngjae starts, “you needed something?”

“No.”

There’s a bar.

“You know you can’t smoke in here, right?” Junhong eyes the lighter in Yongguk’s hands and he drops down next to him.

“I don’t smoke.”

“And _yet_ …”

“Just something to do.” He turns it around in his hands again, shrugging. “What’s up?”

“Nothing? I’m resting for once, is it that surprising?”

“Yes.”

“Daehyun bet me I couldn’t stay still for a hour.”

“Good luck.” Yongguk laughs.

“You say that like it’s hard.”

“For you? I’m not sure you’ll manage it.”

“Why does everyone think that.”

There’s a bar.

Daehyun sips at a drink, watches Junhong for signs the other is going to get back up. Jongup drops into the seat next to Daehyun at the bar, leaning against it. “He give up yet?”

“Nope.”

“Youngjae get hit yet?”

“Nope, Himchan saved him.”

“You’re making a lot of bets today.” Jongup glances at Daehyun, who shrugs.

“I’m bored.”

“You realize there’s- this bar has a dance floor?”

“So?”

“What do you mean so?”

“It’s not happening.” Daehyun nods, as if to confirm the decision.

“What a shame.” Jongup laughs, pats him on the shoulder. “I am though. Good luck with your bets.”

“If you were just going right back why’d you come over here in the first place?!” He doesn’t get a response.

There’s a bar that they’ve made their hideout. It’s strange, they all agree, after so long moving from place to place because there was no where for them to stay, to have a place they can just… rest.


	3. Money

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Junhong sees.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter focuses on Youngjae.
> 
> What an asshole.

They’re old, rude, criminals who laugh when Himchan warns them about moving any closer to the bar. They keep expanding their reach, their _territory_ despite the warning. They brag their wealth and power to anyone who will listen, and bribe cops.

It’s not hard to find information about them.

“They better not come after me for this.” The informant hands over a folder, sighing. Himchan hands him a package of money.

“They wont.”

They’re old, rude, and rich criminals. They’ve been in the business longer, but they’re also too confident.

“They were extorting that shop down the street, it’s only a matter of time before they’re trying to take over here,” Jongup says, looking down at the papers he’s handed. Information about the gangs leader.

“Great, more killing, that’s what I wanted.” Daehyun’s sarcasm has the room going silent.

“You can leave,” Himchan says, looking over the group.

“No I can’t.” Daehyun sits back, sinks into his seat, and ignores the pat Yongguk gives him on the shoulder. “I know.”

“When are we doing this?” Junhong asks, turning his attention back to Himchan.

“In three days.”

“Okay.”

They’re a young, new group of criminals, formed by coincidence and necessity. The older group of criminals formed from high class crime and cons. Extorting with threats that would fall apart if truly challenged. Yongguk tries not to be worried.

There’s a lot of money. The man, the leader, the last of the gang begs for his life using the money as a bribe. Jongup shoots him, then leaves the room to calm his breathing. He wasn’t cut out for this.

There’s a lot of money. Youngjae stares at it, as Himchan goes to make sure there isn’t anyone else around. Youngjae stares at it as Daehyun goes to check on Jongup. Youngjae stares at it and is reminded of being in debt. Reminded of his family’s crumbling life and the fact that he _ran away._

He stuffs bills into his pocket when he thinks the others aren’t looking. Junhong sees.

Yongguk checks how much there is, figures out how much an even share is. Junhong stares. Youngjae avoids his gaze, avoids everyone’s eyes, takes his share even with what’s already weighing down his pockets. Junhong stares.

“I’m-” Youngjae starts, stops, swallows back any admission he had when they turn to him. “I’ll go back to the car.”

He runs. Not literally, but that’s what it feels like he’s doing.

“Youngjae?” Daehyun calls after him. He doesn’t stop.

“What’s up with him?” Yongguk asks. He ignores it.

There’s a lot of money. A little wont make a difference, Youngjae thinks. It wont make a difference.

His parents receive a letter, with no return address or postage. An envelope filled with money.

_I’m sorry I left._

“Why’d you do it?” Junhong asks, when Youngjae drops into the seat next to him at the bar. Youngjae avoids his eyes as he puts what he’s gotten from his last game of darts into his pockets.

“Do what?”

“Take more. Was your share not enough? You’re doing this too.” Junhong motions to the dartboard.

“Does it matter? Are you going to tell them?”

“Yes it matters. But, no, I wont tell them.”

“You wont?” Youngjae looks up, surprised.

“They’ll figure it out their own. But if you’re sending money somewhere, we could get caught.”

“I’m not sending a lot at once and- they need- I owe them at least this much.”

“Who’s ‘them?’”

“My family.”

“Ah.” Junhong nods, rests his arms on the bar and looks ahead. “Why’d you become a criminal, Youngjae?”

“I couldn’t afford to go to college.”

“I took a loan for college. If I wasn’t ‘missing’ I’d be paying for that now.”

“Someone’s paying for it.”

“Probably.”

There’s a lot of money. Jongup wins yet another game of poker, Youngjae throws his hands up, Daehyun makes a noise of complaint. Himchan sighs, plopping back into his seat in exasperation as Yongguk laughs at him.

“I win again.”

“I think Jongup is cheating,” Junhong says, frowning.

“I am not.”

“One more round!” Youngjae slams his hands down. “I refuse to loose.”

“Such a sore loser.” Daehyun sighs, slinging an arm over Youngjae’s shoulders. “Were you always like this?”

“I don’t like to loose.”

“Neither does Himchan,” Yongguk adds, when Himchan laughs at Daehyun’s comment.

“Okay, another round.” Jongup laughs, setting up his chips.

There’s a lot of money. Yongguk stares, raises an eyebrow, and Youngjae can’t find explanations. How does he defend stuffing money into his pockets before shares are figured out? Will he realize this isn’t the first time?

“Youngjae-”

Youngjae runs. From the building, across the street to the parking garage they’d arrived at. Stumbles against a pillar and tries to breath.

“What are you doing?!” Junhong grabs him, forces Youngjae to spin around. “Are you going to do this every time?”

“I need to-”

“Your share would be enough!”

“What do you know?!” Youngjae rips his arm away. “At least I’m trying to make up for- for just running away. Does your family even know your _alive?_ Did you ever think, just maybe, they’re worried about you? At least I’m trying to help mine still, what are you doing?!”

He doesn’t mean it. Junhong gasps at him, shocked. Youngjae doesn’t know where the argument came from, it feel out of place. Like he was throwing words without thinking about their meaning. He just wanted out of the situation he’d put himself in.

Junhong leaves. Holds his hands up, turns around, and leaves. “Fine. Good luck explaining this to the others.”

Daehyun finds Youngjae only a minute after Junhong leaves. “What are you doing Youngjae?”

“Suffering.”

“I mean this.” Daehyun kicks Youngjae, where the pockets of his jacket rest against his legs. Youngjae glances down, then up at Daehyun from his place on the ground.

“I owe them at least this much.”

“Your share would be enough.”

“I panicked.” Youngjae sighs, Daehyun sits next to him. “Every time I see this much money, I panic. I just- I can’t stop thinking about how much easier things would have been if they had a fraction of this when I left. Or before I left.”

“I get it, but everyone here- we’ve all been living without anything for a while, doesn’t it seem messed up to steal from each other? We’re supposed to be a team.”

“I’m sorry.” Youngjae sighs, leans against Daehyun. “Himchan’s going to disown me.”

“Wanna run away? Start a life of crime?” Daehyun and Youngjae look to each other, then laugh.

“Like old times.”

There’s a lot of money, Youngjae drops it onto the table in front of Himchan, not meeting his eyes.

“I’ll leave.”

“No you wont.” Himchan sounds so certain Youngjae almost doesn’t want to argue. He’s still about to, but Himchan shakes his head. “Daehyun and Junhong seemed pretty sure we should let you stay, for now.”

“Hey,” Jongup enters the room, startling Youngjae, “Yongguk is back.”

“Right,” Himchan says, standing. “Youngjae, why don’t you figure out what an even share between six people is, with this.”

Youngjae can only stare at the money in front of him as Himchan leaves the room.

“Need help?” Jongup offers, and Youngjae nods. “Are you okay?”

“I… guess so.”

“Himchan looked really angry earlier, I was sort of worried you wouldn’t be breathing when I came in.”

“So was I.”

There’s a lot of money. Youngjae thinks, after all they’ve done so far, it’s strange they don’t get angrier at him for it. They’re upset, sure, but no one’s threatening his life or even asking him to leave.

“But if you do it again,” Yongguk warns, “you’re dead to me.”

“To you?” Jongup laughs. “But not in general?”

“Live and suffer.”

“So cruel.” Daehyun shakes his head.

“It seems pretty fair.” Junhong shrugs.

“I’d kill him.” Himchan nods, as if confirming the fact to himself.

“Thanks guys, love you too.”

There’s a lot of money, shared between six people. Youngjae should probably have realized sooner, if they stuck together when none of them had any, it would be hard for any of them to leave now.

_I’m sorry I left. But I promise I’m safe._

Youngjae has a large enough share to do what he wants without stealing from the others.

“Hey, Junhong, I owe you an apology.”

“It’s fine,” Junhong responds, shaking his head. “I sent a letter to my parents yesterday.”

“Is that so?”

There wasn’t a lot of money, there is a lot of money now. More importantly, Youngjae thinks, there are important people.


	4. Panic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jongup isn't suited for a life of crime and killing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jongup's turn!

Jongup panics. The man- a criminal, someone who just moments earlier threatened them- begs for his life. He begs for his life and Jongup knows the second anyone turns their back he’d attack them again. Jongup panics, pulls the trigger without thinking.

It had been easier when the people he shot were at a distance and shooting at him. Jongup panics, leaves the room and tries to calm his breathing. He wasn’t cut out for a life of crime or killing.

Daehyun follows him, leans against the wall next to where Jongup is crouched, arms around his knees. Jongup shakes his head, presses his face into his arms. Daehyun is oddly quiet.

“Sorry.”

“For what?” Daehyun laughs, slides down next to Jongup. “It’s okay. I don’t feel great about killing either.”

“Yeah but- it’s not like it’s the first time.” Jongup sighs, drops fully onto the ground. Stares at his legs in front of him as he stretches them out. “I thought I’d get used to it quicker.”

“Jongup,” Daehyun holds his hand in front of Jongup’s face, it’s shaking, “it’s okay.”

“Yeah,” Jongup sighs the word out. “Yeah.”

“Let’s go back?”

“Okay.” Daehyun helps Jongup to his feet, and they rejoin the others. No one asks.

Jongup panics. Looks around at the others, as if looking for answers to his questions. Ones none of them have. Youngjae runs, Junhong follows, Daehyun follows. Yongguk looks down at the money, Himchan glares, Jongup panics.

“Why would- what is- what happened?” Jongup can’t figure out the question he wants to ask. Can’t figure out what he wants them to say.

“I’m gonna kill him.” Himchan’s tone is startling, Yongguk shakes his head.

“No. We all need to talk about this.”

“There’s probably a good reason,” Jongup offers. Hesitantly, he places and hand on Himchan’s shoulder.

“Fine.”

Jongup panics. Junhong looks almost guilty, frowning. “I didn’t mention you, but if I’m alive and well, your parents also might assume you are.”

It’s not like Jongup can blame him. He, too, feels guilty for leaving without any warning to start a life of crime. Yet, he feels a creeping anxiety in his chest. What if they come looking for him?

He was supposed to be a lawyer. That was what they wanted. He wouldn’t have been cut out for it. He isn’t cut out for crime, either, but at least he feels like he made this choice. He panics, sits himself on a chair and stares at the people around him.

What if they find him?

“You okay there?” Daehyun asks, sitting next to him.

“Junhong sent a letter to his parents. It didn’t tell them where he is or anything but… we were friends a really long time. Our families know each other and we left together.”

“So your parents will also know you’re probably alive?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you miss them?”

“Sometimes.” Jongup sighs. “I don’t miss… what I left behind, though. Do you? Miss your parents, I mean.”

“No.” Daehyun answers, then frowns. “I mean… no more than I did when I was there.”

“Oh.”

“It’s going to be okay. At worst, we can move our base of operations.”

Jongup panics. Himchan’s glares are truly something, and Jongup doesn’t know what to do under them. “Where are you going?”

“Out?” Jongup offers, shrugging.

“Jongup.”

“I’m an adult.” Jongup frowns, as if that somehow changes anything. “I’m just- I need to walk around. I’ve been sitting still too long.”

“Then you can come with me.”

“What?”

“We’re looking for another hideout. One that isn’t a public bar, you know?”

“Since when?”

“Daehyun, of all people, suggested it. Yongguk agreed and I wasn’t arguing with both of them.”

“Oh?” Jongup laughs, then nods. “Okay, sure, let’s go hideout hunting.”

Jongup isn’t cut out for a life of crime. Unfortunately, he also happens to be pretty good at it. Jongup has pretty good aim, and isn’t bad at hand-to-hand combat. When Yongguk gives them all lessons in self defense, he picks up on them pretty quickly.

Which is why he manages well, even when he panics. Grabs the wrist of the man who’d gotten too close, doesn’t think before spinning him around- into a wall- and taking his gun. Shoots without thinking, and is startled by a pat on the back when the fight is over.

Jongup breathes out, presses his hands to his knees and stares at the ground.

“You okay?” Youngjae’s voice has him jumping, then nodding. “Everyone else is in the other room, you know?”

“You’re not?”

“I’m banned from going near the money before it’s counted.” Youngjae shrugs, frowning, and Jongup laughs. Standing straight, Jongup turns to the building’s exit.

“Want to stand guard with me?”

“You’re not going to join them?”

“I still- I need another minute… or six.”

“Sure.”

Jongup doesn’t panic, remains calm, even when he shoots. The man- an informant- had given another gang information about theirs and Jongup had tensed when he saw him. When recognition set in. He didn’t panic, didn’t think at all.

When he returns to the bar is when he starts shaking. Drops down next to Yongguk and Junhong, breathes out a sigh, and finds his voice.

“I killed someone.”

“That’s new?” Junhong raises an eyebrow at him, pats him on the back. Jongup shakes his head.

“Who?” Yongguk asks, gently.

“You know that informant who sold us out?”

“Jongup.” Yongguk gasps at him, blinks, then wraps an arm around his shoulders. “You want to tell Himchan?”

“Not really.”

“Okay, I will.”

“Thanks.”

Jongup sighs, leans against Junhong when Yongguk leaves, and glances at the groups of people dancing nearby.

“I should have been a dancer.”

“Would have suited you better,” Junhong agrees.

“You too.”

Jongup is getting used to it, he realizes. Jongup doesn’t panic, stays calm and lets whatever anxiety he has hit him once it wont be a problem.

Jongup panics. His face is on the news. A years old picture of a younger Moon Jongup. One who hadn’t committed any crimes, one who hadn’t killed anyone. He panics, pulls his sweater over his face, and stumbles into the bar. Only the others are there, the bar being closed. They look up at him when he stumbles in.

“I’m on the news again.”

Junhong gasps, stands to pull Jongup into a hug. “I’m sorry.”

“As a missing person?” Daehyun stands at his side, waits until Jongup nods to speak again. “You should stay inside a while.”

“Good thing we’re getting another hideout, huh?”

Sighing, Jongup looks around the empty space around him. Hiding was boring, he decides, especially in an empty garage-turned-hideout with nothing to do.

Then, Daehyun bursts in bringing food, Junhong drops a box of CD’s next to him- as if he doesn’t have a phone- and Himchan starts filling him in on what he’s missed. Then Yongguk is asking how being in hiding is, and Youngjae is giving him pitying pats on the back when he says “boring.”

Jongup really wasn’t cut out for a life of crime, but he couldn’t picture going back home. Couldn’t picture leaving the others behind or going back to college.

“Thanks guys.”

“What are friends for?” Junhong shrugs.

“Free food.”

“Daehyun!”

“I mean… this?”

Jongup laughs.


	5. Warm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The streets are cold, the sickness in his empty stomach is warm. The metal outside of his lighter is cold, the fire it produces is warm.
> 
> The fear of what their actions may one day bring is cold. The people around him are warm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr version: http://iamashamedofmyfanfics.tumblr.com/post/157801195335/
> 
> Yongguk's turn!

It’s warm. Yongguk sighs, shifts from where he sits against the brick walls of a building. Warmth from the summer afternoon beats down. He frowns, arms sitting on his knees, and stares at his hands.

Himchan kicks his feet, drawing his attention up to him. Eyebrows raised in question, Yongguk tilts his head. Himchan shakes his. “Come on, let’s steal breakfast.”

It’s warm. Yongguk rolls over on the floor of their hideout. It’s no more comfortable than his previous life living in alleyways, but he at least figured it’d be cooler than the summer heat of a year before. Sighing, he blinks away sleep and sits up. Everyone else is either asleep, or gone. Jongup is sprawled over the only piece of furniture in the building- a sofa- while Junhong is curled up in a corner.

Yongguk almost feels bad, but he rolls his shoulders and gets up to wake them. “Come on guys, we’ve gotta make the place more livable.”

It’s warm. Working in a metal building, midday, in the summer was not a fun way to spend your day. Still, Yongguk sighs and helps Himchan pull the sofa to one side of the building, so they can make use of the rest of the space. While the building is pretty big, it’s been broken into sections by tape.

“What’s the point of this, again?’ Daehyun complains from the other side of the room- building, hideout- as he and Junhong move a table.

“This is our _home_ , Daehyun,” Youngjae mock-gasps. “It has to be livable.”

“We’re alive.”

“I’m surprised Youngjae isn’t the one complaining,” Yongguk says. He shrugs at the hurt look Youngjae tries to give him.

“He’s just happy we’re going to have actual beds.” Himchan sets down the sofa, follow by Yongguk dropping his side. Rolling his eyes with a sigh, Himchan turns around. “When was the last time any of us had that?”

“High school?”

“College for us.” Junhong points at himself then Jongup, who nods.

“Good night’s sleep, how I’ve missed thee.” Daehyun sighs.

It’s warm. The lighter gives off a nice warmth when flicked to life, and the sparkler that Junhong asks him to light, gives another. Junhong rushes off a quickly as he came, joining his sparkler to the tips of Daehyun, Jongup, and Youngjae’s, lighting theirs.

Himchan drops down next to Yongguk, holds a sparkler out to him, and shrugs when Yongguk makes a noise in question.

“What?” Himchan motions for Yongguk to take it, which he does, and snatches the lighter from Yongguk in order to light it. “Now go.”

“Am I one of the kids now too?’

“Yes. Let’s go.”

“Okay, mom.” Yongguk snatches back his lighter- stuffs it into pocket- and rushes forward before HImchan can respond.

“Don’t make me the responsible one here!”

“But you do that to yourself,” Yongguk laughs, spinning around.

“Still.”

_It’s warm. Yongguk rolls over in his bed, stares at the ceiling. Downstairs he can hear his parents talking about him. He closes his eyes, tries not to think about it. They’re going to be disappointed, he thinks._

They are disappointed. Yongguk blinks into awareness. The futon he lays on is nowhere near as soft as the bed of his childhood home. It’s warm. Yongguk tries to roll over, only to find a weight at his side. Both sides, actually. Yongguk can see Junhong laying over one of his arms, and Youngjae with his head against Junhong’s stomach. Further still, Daehyun curled up at Youngjae’s side. On Yongguk’s other side, Himchan’s head rests against his shoulder, and Jongup is laying practically over Himchan, head resting against Yongguk’s chest.

He can feel them shift when he lets out a small chuckle, realizing everyone had curled together rather than spread out like they claimed they would. Some futons have been moved closer, some abandoned completely. It’s warm.

Junhong and Jongup had arrived together, ran away from their potential futures for a life of crime. Youngjae and Daehyung had shown up together, having run from their fear of not having futures, to a life of crime. Himchan and Yongguk had left together.

Yongguk didn’t want to follow the path everyone else wanted him to. He was so smart, they claimed, he would have a good future as a lawyer, or business man, or, or, or. There’s a burning warmth in his chest that tells him he doesn’t want to be any of those things.

So he ran away.

When Himchan had said he was going to leave- when Yongguk had jokingly made the suggestion- Yongguk runs.

The streets are cold, the sickness in his empty stomach is warm. The metal outside of his lighter is cold, the fire it produces is warm.

The fear of what their actions may one day bring is cold. The people around him are warm.

It’s warm. Yongguk feels the warmth of the surrounding bar, and the warmth of the alcohol he’s already had in his system. He’s nowhere near drunk, so he takes another sip and looks around himself. Himchan drops down next to him.

“You’re drinking.”

“How could you tell?” Sarcasm laces his tone, as he lifts the glass in his hand.

“Yongguk.” Himchan levels him with a halfhearted glare, and Yongguk shakes his head.

“Just a little. I was thinking about the past.”

“What’s the point of that?” Himchan turns to glare at the wall of alcohol in front of them. The bartender- and owner- raises an eyebrow, silently asking Himchan if he wants something. Himchan shakes his head, so the man leaves to tend to other people.

“Do you not ever think about it? We ran away. In less of a dramatic fashion than the others, sure, but we’ve left people who might miss us behind. Is it bad to remember that?”

“For your peace of mind, it is.”

“I miss my parents.”

“Oh?” Himchan sighs, turns around in his seat to face the dancing groups of people, Yongguk keeps facing forward.

“I’m not looking back,” Yongguk keeps any comment about how that’s literal to himself, but smiles at the thought, “but remembering who’s behind me, or alongside me, is good for reaching the future, I think.”

“Why are you always like this?” Himchan laughs. “Sure, I guess. I think the ‘alongside me’ part is more important.”

“You think so?”

“They’re the reason I make plans in the way I do. Not people I’ve left behind.”

“Hey,” Yongguk starts, finally spinning to face HImchan, “I never thanked you.”

“For what?”

“Coming with me.”

“I was trying to run away, too.”

It’s warm. Yongguk pushes all of their futons together, frowns when the others complain. “We always end up like this anyway.”

It’s warm. Yongguk wakes up with five people surrounding him, laying on top of each other. Warmth from their bodies makes up for the cold night outside. Yongguk smiles, shifts into as comfortable position as he can, and goes back to sleep.

They’re warm.


	6. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> daehyun time~!
> 
> I had some trouble with how to end this chapter, to fit in with how i ended every one so far, so I apologize it took so long.
> 
> Himchan or Junhong next, i wonder.
> 
> just three more chapters, after this one!

There’s a home. Daehyun spends most of his time there alone. Daehyun spends more time at other people’s homes because he’d rather that then be alone. Though he’s the one who jokingly says they should leave and start a life of crime, it’s Youngjae who’s ready to run when they graduate and have to face the fact they don’t know what to do next. Youngjae is prepared to leave and Daehyun doesn’t want to be alone, so he throws on a grin and they run.

There’s a home. Makeshift and incomplete, but Daehyun is happy with it. Between the bar and the warehouse they’ve taken lodgings up in, it feels more like he has a home now than he ever did before. Himchan organizes the building, their home, to work as a second base of operations. Everyone else helps set the place up, and find things to do when not out committing crimes.

Jongup is stuck there. Unable to leave because his face is plastered on the news as a missing person. Daehyun hates to say it, but he’s almost jealous. He wont say as much, because Jongup is unhappy with it, but he can’t help the feeling. Daehyun is sure he was reported missing, but it didn’t seem like anyone was looking for him.

There’s a home. Everyone within the makeshift home has run away, to start a life of crime. Daehyun doesn’t know much about the homes Yongguk or Himchan came from. Doesn’t know if they’re being looked for if that search was given up. Daehyun knows that Youngjae and Junhong’s families know they’re alive, that they’re only not looking because Youngjae and Junhong have assured them of their safety. Daehyun knows that Jongup’s family knows he’s alive, despite him not telling them as much, and that they’re searching for him. Daehyun’s family doesn’t know if he’s alive, yet here he is without the fear he’s being searched for.

There’s a home. Daehyun sits on his designated futon, head resting on his hand and elbow on his knee. Midday is no time to be at the bar, so he sits in the warehouse bored with nothing to occupy him other than the candy bar in his hand. Jongup flops down next to him, eyebrow raised.

“You okay there?”

“Bored.’

“We have music?”

“I guess.” Daehyun shrugs.

“Youngjae claimed he could beat you for the highest note.”

“I’ll destroy him.” Daehyun jumps to his feet. “Okay, music, let’s go.”

Jongup laughs, nodding, and stands as well. Youngjae claims to have not made any claims about high notes. Daehyun thinks he just says that because he lost.

There’s a home. Two, really. One- their new hideout- is a warehouse. The first is a bar. It’s a weird place to think of as a home, but Daehyun likes the place. Which is why he’s not here for people causing trouble.

A guys yells at the bartender- who is also the owner- and claims he’s owed his money back. He’s not. The owner asks him to leave, but he just gets louder and shoves away anyone trying to stop him. Daehyun shares a look with Youngjae from across the bar. Youngjae shrugs. Daehyun sighs. When he turns his attention to Himchan, the man looks about ready to commit murder. Daehyun has seen him actually do as much, so he stands instead and makes his way over to the shouting man.

Yongguk raises an eyebrow at Daehyun. Daehyun makes it way past him, and puts a hand on the shouting man’s shoulder. “Hey, would you stop?”

“Stop?! This place is a sham! Total ripoff! I want my money back it wasn’t worth that shitty drink!”

Daehyun punches him. “Then leave! You’re disrupting people who aren’t too busy being giant assholes to realize this is supposed to be a nice place!”

The man punches Daehyun, in return, and grabs his collar, ready to do so again. Daehyun steels himself for the punch, but finds the man being pulled away from him. Yongguk is- to those who don’t know him- very scary. Daehyun knows that, outside of the atrocities everyone in their gang commits, Yongguk is a rather nice person. This man doesn’t know that, so the glare Yongguk gives has him stepping back.

“Leave.” Yongguk let’s go of the arm he’d grabbed- to pull him away- and sighs. As an afterthought, he speaks again. “Please.”

The man stumbles back, yells a few more obscenities at them and the bars patrons, before leaving.

“Thank you, Yongguk.”

“Oh, uh, yeah.” Yongguk shrugs, offering Daehyun a smile. Daehyun grins.

There’s a home. Daehyun shouldn’t be there, he knows, yet he stands in front of the door. His old apartment lays just beyond. The place he’d grown up. Home may be too kind a word. Daehyun had Youngjae’s help in finding out if his parent’s still live there- they do- and had prepared a letter to leave them and everything.

Yet standing in front of the door makes him rethink if he even wants them to know he’s alive. If they would care. Sighing, he takes the letter from his pocket, and stares at it. A minute passes, before he forces himself to slide it under their door and leave.

_Did you even notice I was gone?_

There’s a home. Youngjae is glaring at him from across it, leaning against the warehouse wall. Daehyun raises an eyebrow. “What?!”

“You’re on the news.”

“I’m what?!” Daehyun jumps up, rushes across the room so he can grab Youngjae’s shoulders. “I’m what?!”

“On the news, you moron! What were you thinking?! I knew you were going to tell them you were alive when you asked me to find out if they were still there, but are you serious? They’re on the news crying about their runaway son who _hates them_ , Daehyun.”

“They’re crying?”

“Is that they only thing you got from that?”

“No…”

There’s a home. Yongguk stares Daehyun down when he returns to it, frowning. Daehyun thinks he’s going be scolded again. Youngjae had eventually given in and stopped being angry at him because he understood. Yongguk, though, sighs and shakes his head before taking a seat next to Daehyun on the sofa.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m on the news, aren’t you mad?”

“So is Jongup.”

“Yeah but that wasn’t because of anything Jongup did.” Daehyun frowns. Yongguk pats him on the shoulder.

“I’ll leave being mad about our gang members being on the news to Himchan. I’m more worried about how you must be feeling about this.”

“I was right, you’re secretly really soft aren’t you?”

“Secretly.” Yongguk laughs. “Sure. So are you okay?”

“I guess? I expected to… feel bad when Youngjae told me they were crying. Then, instead, I got angry the more I thought about it. Is something wrong with me?”

“Why angry?”

“Because they’re making this about them! Because I ran away _years_ ago but it didn’t matter until I turned up alive? It didn’t matter until I told them that I didn’t think they cared? How dare they act like that! I spent all this time thinking they weren’t even trying to look for me, and they go cry about how hurt they are by my statements?!”

“Daehyun.” Yongguk says, quiet. Daehyun hadn’t realized he was shouting.

“Yeah?”

“This is going to sound really cheesy, bear with me. We would look for you if you suddenly left.”

“Dude.” Daehyun grins. “That really is cheesy. I have to tell everyone you said that.”

“Please don’t.”

There’s a home. Daehyun isn’t allowed to leave as long as he’s on the news, so he joins Jongup in being stuck there. Music is a blessing. Jongup, Daehyun thinks, really should have tried to become a dancer instead of running off and joining a gang. Daehyun himself, spends his time imagining he’s a world renown singer, of whose songs Jongup is dancing to.

It’s their only way to pass the time in which the others are off doing other things. Jongup collapses on the ground, taking a break and out of energy, while Daehyun downs water.

“Maybe we should fake our deaths, then they’ll stop looking for us.” Jongup doesn’t look at Daehyun, instead staring at the ceiling.

“Where’d that come from?” Daehyun asks, sitting next to Jongup on the floor.

“Then my parents could move on and I could return to doing whatever I want.”

“I guess.” Daehyun sighs. “Hey, Jongup?”

“Yeah?”

“Why’d you run away?”

“I didn’t want to be a lawyer. I didn’t want to be doing anything I was, really, and my parents had such high expectations. I panicked and ran away.” Jongup frowns.

“I wasn’t doing anything, I didn’t have any plan, so I just… ran. Figured they wouldn’t miss me.”

“Aren’t you being proven wrong now?”

“I don’t feel like it.”

There’s a home. Daehyun wakes in a pile on the floor, with the rest of the gang. Daehyun’s head is against Yongguk’s side- though he doesn’t remember ending up there- and Youngjae is curled into his side, with Junhong leaning on him. Daehyun feel rather trapped, which isn’t a great feeling when he woke needing to go to the bathroom.

“Youngjae.” Daehyun pushes the other. “Youngjae.”

“Huh?”

“Get off of me, I’m dying.”

“Die then,” Youngjae mutters.

“Youngjae, please.” Daehyun tries to roll the other over, to no avail. Luckily, Youngjae concedes and rolls himself over so Daehyun can escape. He stands, ready to leave before deciding he has enough time for one more action.

When Daehyun wakes the next day he has a picture of the sleeping pile. Jongup laying on top of Himchan, Himchan on Yongguk. Youngjae all but completely on top of Junhong after rolling away from Daehyun. They aren’t so happy with the picture.

“We’re all really cute.” Except maybe Jongup.

There’s a home. Daehyun would like to claim that they don’t need a third base of operations. Yet, he can’t deny having proper beds again would be nice. It’s a rather small apartment, and Yongguk had to go through a lot to get the landlord to take pure cash for rent. However, he managed it, and the gang piles into the apartment in amazement.

“The rent is cheep enough that we can set aside a certain amount from all our… business and keep it.”

“So then what about the warehouse?” Youngjae asks, frowning.

“We use it to store things. Vehicles, for starters. As much as I love constantly needing to move our get away vehicle when we’re not using it, actually having somewhere to put it would better suit us.” Yongguk shrugs. “Besides, we’ve been pulling a lot of bigger jobs, we might need the space.”

“I like it!” Daehyun grins. “I missed proper beds.”

“Wont you miss floor piles?’ Jongup asks, gasping.

“Obviously.” Daehyun grins. “Not enough, though.”

There’s a home. Daehyun stands when Jongup pulls him to his feet, blinks past sleep but remains unaware of where he’s being taken. Daehyun wakes the next morning, in a pile in Himchan and Yongguk’s room. Himchan, for his part, doesn’t look as annoyed as he’s trying to be.

“Is this what you woke me up for?” Daehyun raises an eyebrow at Jongup.

“It was Youngjae’s idea.”

“I wanted to annoy Himchan.” Youngjae shrugs.

“Do you have a death wish?” Daehyun gasps.

“First stealing from the gang, now this. He really does. Youngjae why?” Jongup frowns.

“I do not!”

There’s a home. Junhong and Youngjae return to it with food and Daehyun is at their sides in a second. Everyone gathers around to eat and it’s… strangely domestic. Daehyun laughs at the realization.

“You guys are like my family, you know?”

“You cheesy fuck.” Youngjae scoffs, shoving him.

“Same.” Jongup smiles.

“That’s nice, actually.” Yongguk nods.

“You can’t have extra food.” Himchan glares, suspicions. Daehyun pouts at that, but knows better than to argue. They have limited funds, after all.

“Thanks, man.” Junhong adds, after a pause. Everyone looks to him, silently questioning his delayed response. “I was chewing.”

There’s a home. Daehyun should have never gone back to that old apartment. He’d much rather his parents not know his status, and continue living his life alongside the gang he joined. It’s a strange thought, but their presence really makes a home for him. Daehyun decides not to say as much, they already think him cheesy.

There’s a home. Daehyun finally feel like it’s one, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you have suggestions about who should be next (himchan or zelo) i'm open to them.
> 
> also most of my motivation comes from knowing if people are reading/care if I continue the story so like, if you want to comment please don't hesitate. if you don't want to, though, that's also fine i don't want to sound like you /have/ to.
> 
> im rambling im sorry i've been writing a lot my brains' given up.


	7. Waiting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Junhong stares.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> junhong's turn. i tried to portray the awkward bab as pretty inactive- as a human not actually physically- at most times, but then quick to move when it's called for.

Junhong stares. The man- from another gang- points a gun at him and Junhong can only stare. He shouts threats at Junhong, tells him to back up, and Junhong takes a step back, hands held up. “Drop your gun.”

Junhong slowly, carefully, does just that. The man nods, then motions Junhong to move to the right. Junhong does, careful, small steps. Junhong stares, waits.

There’s a gunshot and the man is on the ground, gasping for air, Junhong stumbles and reaches down to regain his own weapon, and shoots the man again, killing him. Junhong sighs, takes a deep breath, and turns to where Yongguk is standing, gun lowered.

“You okay?”

“Yeah.” He nods, Yongguk nods in return. “Thanks.”

“Sure?” Yongguk frowns. “Please be more careful.”

“I will.”

Junhong stares, Youngjae raises an eyebrow at him. Junhong continues to stare. Youngjae sighs and lowers his glass. “Yes, Junhong?”

“I need your help.”

“With what?”

“Distract Himchan.”

“What? No, I don’t have a death wish.”

“Please.”

“Here I thought you were the good kid.” Youngjae sighs. “Why?”

“I… made arrangements to meet my parents.”

“Junhong!”

“They already know I’m alive.”

“Knowing your alive is really different to knowing where you are. Meeting up with them can get you into a lot of trouble, you know?”

“They wont know where I am.”

“What?”

“The hideouts are what your worried about, right? The location is really far away.”

“Why do you need me to distract Himchan?”

“He’s been really careful about us going anywhere because of Jongup and Daehyun.”

“Fine.” Youngjae sighs. “But only if you take someone else with you. We have a lot of enemies. You know you're putting you're parents in danger, right?”

“Most of the people who have seen my face are dead.”

“That’s… fair.”

He wasn’t sure what to expect, but Junhong feels like there’s a world between him and his parents. He stares, they talk about how happy they are he’s alive, how happy they are to see him. There are tears in their eyes- maybe in his too- but all Junhong can think about is how little he knows them anymore.

Junhong smiles, tries not to stare for too long or be obvious in his realization. He can see- out of the corner of his eye- Yongguk at another booth of the restaurant. There’s such a difference. Junhong looks at his parents and sees everything he ran away from. All his responsibilities, his future, his parents and their expectations. Yongguk is a stark contrast. Someone who also ran from his life, someone who Junhong sees every day and trusts with his life.

Junhong stares at his parents when they leave. They’re reluctant, because they’ve missed him, but he promises to see them again. He stares, watches them get further away, and then he turns around, going the other way. Junhong can’t find the words to say when Yongguk asks him what’s wrong.

Himchan isn’t happy. That much was what Junhong should have expected, but he still sinks down under Himchan’s glare. With a huff, Himchan leaves him and Youngjae in their shared room, closing the door. His words- warnings about their actions, as well as words of disappointment- leave a tense atmosphere. Junhong turns to Youngjae, the latter sighs.

Junhong tries to offer an apologetic smile, Youngjae scoffs. “You’re lucky I owed you.”

“You did?”

“For not telling anyone back when I was stealing from the rest of you? Or for forgiving me when I yelled at you when I was the one doing the stupid thing?” Youngjae frowns. “I don’t like remembering either of those things, so…”

“You don’t owe me.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“But, thank you.”

Junhong stares. Jongup’s picture is off of television, but still remains on newspapers and Junhong stares, guilt forming in his stomach. If he hadn’t told his parents he was still alive then Jongup’s wouldn’t have restarted their search for him. If Junhong had never made the joke in the first place- said they should start a life of crime- then Jongup wouldn’t be here, either.

Junhong stares at the newspaper until the cashier at the convenience store he’s standing in gives him a weird look. Junhong offers a smile, grabbing the thing’s he’d actually come for and buying them. There’s no reason for him to focus so much on something that was long over. It was far too late for them to return to their old lives.

Youngjae counts bills, frowning. He looks up at the man in front of him, and sets them down. “Double or nothing.”

“If you want to lose more money, who am I to argue.”

Junhong stares. He’s surprised Youngjae doesn’t have a reputation, that people aren’t forewarned upon arriving at the bar about Youngjae. Junhong watches as Youngjae makes a near perfect score, and the man stands there, gaping at the dart board. Junhong watches as the man punches Youngjae, and Youngjae stumbles back.

“You hustled me!”

“Ow- that hurt, asshole.”

“You deserved it.” The man picks up his money, that he’d set down before the game, glaring. Junhong watches as he turns to leave and the panic that fills Youngjae’s face. Junhong has watched Youngjae do terrible things for money he once never had, money they all had to steal for at one point, money that Youngjae was without even before they met. Junhong has seen that same look of panic as Youngjae ran away with money he’d stole from his own gang.

“Wait-” Youngjae tries to reach for the man.

Junhong stands, grabs the mans arm. He glares. His gaze moves been Youngjae and Junhong, suspicious. “I’ll play you.”

“What?”

“I’ll play you. For whatever bet you two had,” Junhong says.

“Junhong, can you even play darts?” Youngjae whispers, though Junhong is fairly certain the man can hear him. Junhong shrugs.

“You two must think I’m really stupid, huh?” The man scoffs, pulling his arm away.

“Then I’ll play him!” Junhong says. “If I can beat him, you play me.”

“What? How does that arrangement make any sense?”

“Junhong I’d destroy you.” Youngjae scoffs.

“I’m trying to help you.” Junhong frowns.

“Fine,” The man sighs. “I’ll play you.’

Junhong losses. Youngjae sighs, shaking his head. Junhong stares at the dart board, frowning. The man laughs. “How come Youngjae is the only one that got cool dart skills?”

“You should have challenged him to a dance battle.”

The man takes his winnings and leaves Junhong standing there, staring at the dart board. Junhong turns to Youngjae, determined. “Teach me to play.”

“Sure, later.”

Junhong stares. Junhong sits, staring blankly at the wall in front of him. Jongup drops down next to him. Junhong turns to Jongup, who tilts his head, silently questioning what Junhong is doing.

“I’m thinking.”

“What about?”

“Do you regret leaving?” Junhong watches Jongup’s face shift to form a frown. “We ran away.”

“Yeah.” Jongup nods.

“I just… feel bad.”

“Yeah?’ Jongup’s shoulders pull forward, he wraps his arms around his legs. “I guess I do to.”

“But you don’t regret it, do you?”

“No.”

“Neither do I.” Junhong sighs. “I should. I feel like I _should_ regret leaving my parents to deal with my debt and everything else. That I let them worry for years and have barely eased their worries now. But I really don’t. I regret… I regret telling them I’m alive.”

“Junhong.” Jongup looks surprised, Junhong can only shrug. 

“I think they’d actually be better off thinking I was dead. Not to mention your parents restarted their search because of it.”

“That’s not your fault.”

“I think it is.”

Junhong stares, but Jongup can’t seem to form an argument. They sit in silence.

Junhong doesn’t stare. He moves when Yongguk grabs him, pulling him behind cover as another gang bursts into their hideout- the warehouse- guns at the ready. Youngjae- Junhong can see him dive for cover too, from where he is- is angry and worried. Jongup meets Junhong’s eyes, when Junhong turns to him as well, and nods. Jongup raises his weapon, and presses his back against a pillar. Junhong looks to Yongguk. Yongguk sighs, running a hand through his hair.

“Go get Himchan and Daehyun.” Yongguk waits until Junhong has nodded, before diving from one cover to another, moving towards Youngjae and Jongup. Junhong carefully sneaks out the side entrance. Then he runs.

The bar isn’t far, Junhong thinks, he can trust the others to be safe until he gets back.

Junhong gasps for air, trying quickly to get out his words. He knows he doesn’t have time to stand still. “Help.”

Himchan and Daehyun are up in a second.

Junhong stares, looks around the warehouse, and takes deep breaths. They’ve won. There are injuries, but they’ve won. Junhong breathes out a sigh.

“Junhung help me treat this.” Yongguk calls, and Junhong is moving a second later, ready to help.

Junhong is quick to move, whenever someone call to him to help with something, and waits until everything is taken care of, till everyone is fine, to stare. They’re all alive, and he sighs. Junhong stares at the group- his friends, practically family- and is glad.

Junhong stares, while Yongguk pats him on the back, telling him he did a good job. “Thanks.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> listen not all the chapters can have super cheese ending and i couldn't think of a cheesy way to end this one lol.  
> himchans on the other hand... may just be real cheese.  
> fun fact: each pair's (based on who they ran away with) sentences follow a pattern. for youngjae & daehyun both start with "there's" jongup & junhong both start with their names, and yongguk & himchan are "it's"  
> second fun fact: each person is linked to 3 others in the group. obviously they all care about all of the others, but i specifically focus on three others.
> 
> anyway, thanks for reading, i'm motivated 50% by attention so if you want to comment don't hesitate. but if you don't that's cool, i'm just happy anyone reads in the first place tbh ^^
> 
> anway himchan is next


	8. Loud

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's loud, gunshots echo out, and there's chaos.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> himchan!
> 
> which leaves just one more chapter.
> 
> i was finishing this chapter when i got a comment on this fic, which for some reason i find really funny.
> 
> it might be bc it's 2am tho. probably that.

It’s loud. Junhong bursts in loudly, calling for help from Daehyun and Himchan. With fumbled words about the warehouse being attacked, and the others being in danger from Junhong, Himchan is on his feet quickly, ready to help.

It’s loud. The gunshots can only be so silent. It’s likely only the placement of the building that keeps the cops from later being called. Gunshots ring out, and Himchan feels a boiling under in his blood. His gang, his team, his friends are being attacked, and he feels sick to his stomach. Himchan’s shots are precise, meant to kill, and he doesn’t hesitate until he thinks they’re all gone.

Everyone thinks they’re all gone. although they aren’t letting their guard down, Himchan is still surprised, still not fast enough. Himchan is shot.

It’s loud. Himchan clutches his gut, to stop the bleeding, and wonders if it hit anything too important. Jongup is at his side in a second, helping him to the ground. There’s a pounding in Himchan’s head that nearly overwhelms him, but he tries to focus on what’s going on.

Youngjae moves quicker than Himchan expects. If anyone, it’s Yongguk or Junhong who he expects to move first, but Youngjae is disarming their last attacker by the time Himchan reaches the ground. There’s an expectation that forms in HImchan’s mind when he realizes this; that Youngjae will shoot the man and everyone will check for remaining attackers- just in case- and get Himchan a doctor.

Instead, Youngjae takes to physically beating the man. Himchan is startled- the others seem to be too- before Daehyun is pulling him back, and Yongguk is finishing the job with a single bullet. It’s loud. There’s chaos, as everyone scrambles to make sure they’re secure, and rush Himchan to help.

It’s loud. Himchan has assumed having an apartment, and thus neighbors, would have quieted the group down a bit. It doesn’t. There’s noise- food being made, arguing- from outside his door and he groans, not in the mood to deal with any of them. He’s recovering- now, weeks later- rather well, but he still doesn’t feel great. Yongguk laughs at the annoyed noise he makes.

“You okay?”

“Why are they always so loud?”

“They’re young.”

“We’re young.”

“Doesn’t feel like it.” Yongguk sighs. HImchan nods, shifting to sit up. “It feels like a long time since we left.”

“Yeah.”

_It’s loud. His parent’s voices reach him from the other room and he presses himself against his door, phone in hand. They’re going to be even more upset, he knows. They’ll be disappoint and angry, and, and, and. HImchan sends a message._

_**Let’s do it. For real. Let’s run away.** _

_Yongguk agrees._

_It’s loud. The sounds of passing cars a bad lullaby while trying to sleep in alleyways. Yongguk doesn’t seem to be getting any rest, either. Himchan sighs. He wonders, silently, if this was a good idea. If trying to escape expectations was worth it._

It’s loud. Himchan has never been a fan of the club-like environment of the ‘bar,’ even if he agreed to help keep it running. While it’s filled with patrons it’s loud, and reminds him of his headache. He drinks, again, and the owner gives him a raised eyebrow. He shakes his head. Himchan is fine, not yet drunk. Besides, he was only just cleared to drink again.

Jongup drops into the seat next to him at the bar. Himchan feels momentary panic when Himchan turns to him, and Jongup offers a smile. Himchan sighs, remembering Jongup’s face isn’t so commonly on the news anymore that he can never go outside. Though they’re still careful.

“What is it?”

“I’m taking a break.” Jongup shrugs.

Himchan nods, turning back to his glass. Jongup sits there, staring back at the crowds of people. They don’t speak, for a while. Despite the noise around them, it feels silent. Himchan speaks. “Jongup, why’d you leave?”

“The dance floor?”

“Your life.”

“Oh.” Jongup frowns. “Oh. I… didn’t want to be a lawyer.”

“I see.”

“Why did you?”

“I didn’t want to be… anything they wanted me to be.”

“I get that.”

It’s loud. Himchan hasn’t heard gunshot is a while, so his heart races in his chest, even though they’re the ones who initiated the fire fight. The gang is lead by the man who sent people to attack their warehouse, months ago. Himchan ignores his beating heart, anger running his actions.

Youngjae is the first to signal that they’ve won, that there’s no one left alive. Despite this, everyone seems wary, uncertain. Himchan sighs, understanding how on edge they are, and tells Yongguk and Daehyun to check for anyone left alive. When Himchan turns back to the others, Youngjae is pulling open boxes and cabinets, Junhong looking over his shoulder. Jongup stands at Himchan’s side, unsure what to do.

“What is there?”

“Money, mostly,” Youngjae answers, shrugging. Then, he freezes, and takes purposeful steps away from the box he was leaned over. Junhong follows, eyebrow raised. “I didn’t touch it.”

“I know that.” Himchan sighs. “Jongup, why don’t you and Youngjae count up the money?”

“Can do.” Jongup makes his way over, Youngjae looks confused even as he too goes to do so. Junhong turns back to Himchan.

“I don’t have anything for you to do, sorry.”

“I’m okay with doing nothing.”

“I’m sure.”

It’s loud. Himchan would like to believe he’s used to the energy and volumes of Youngjae and Daehyun. Yet he finds himself burring his face in his hands, papers on the table in front of him, unable to concentrate. Yongguk laughs, then clears his throat to pretend he hadn’t when Himchan glares.

“Why are they always like this?”

“They’re young and full of energy. Didn’t we just have this conversation a few weeks ago?”

“I just…” Himchan sighs. “The younger ones aren’t like this.”

“Junhong is sometimes like this.”

“Jongup isn’t, at least.” Himchan nods to himself. “He’s a good kid.”

“Sure.”

A screech echos out from Daehyun and Jongup’s shared room- though Jongup isn’t in there, and is instead in the kitchen- and Himchan sighs again. It’s loud. “How am I supposed to plan anything like this?”

“Here,” Yongguk motions for the papers, “let me see what I can come up with.”

Himchan hands the papers over, watching Yongguk scan them. He only turns his attention away when Jongup emerges from the kitchen and places a mug of tea in front of Himchan. This gets a raised eyebrow, but Jongup only shrugs.

“You seems like you need it.”

“Thanks.” HImchan takes the cup in his hands, then nods again to himself. “You really are the good kid in this gang.”

“Is there any ‘good ones’ in a criminal organization?”

“Sure, why not?”

It’s quiet. Himchan presses himself against a wall, glances over to Youngjae. The gang- one that had been slowly getting closer to their area of control, clearly not having learned from previous gangs- isn’t prepared for them. Yongguk and Junhong are on the complete other side of the building. Jongup and Daehyun are outside, prepared to run in should things go wrong.

Youngjae looks over to Himchan, waiting. Himchan nods, and they move into the next room, quiet and ready to catch the gang off guard.

It’s loud. One shot echos out, and then noise is all that surrounds them. Youngjae is quick to dive behind cover- a relief to Himchan- and Himchan presses himself behind a wall, calling out to Youngjae for cover. Then he pulls out his phone, sends his already-written text as quickly as possible, and then gets ready to fight.

It’s quiet. Himchan sighs. Yet another fight won. Yet another silence, filled with the knowledge that they’ve killed again. Youngjae looks to Himchan, as if worried, before smiling. Himchan tells everyone to check, just in case, and Yongguk pats him on the shoulder as he passes.

“What’s with all of you?”

“You’re stressed lately,” Youngjae answers, shrugging. “We’re worried you’ll get hurt.”

“I wont.”

“You already did,” Junhong adds, before leaving the room when Himchan glares.

“He’s right, though.” Daehyun shrugs. “We don’t want that happening again, you know?”

“I know. But I’m not getting hurt again, you can trust me on that.”

“Good.” Yongguk laughs when Himchan turns his glare to him. “What?”

“Nothing.”

“Perimeter is clear!” Jongup’s call breaks the atmosphere, and everyone goes to their usual tasks.

It’s loud. Himchan finds himself yet again questioning the loudness of their gang members. Yet, for some reason, he finds himself smiling. Likely, he thinks, it’s because he’s not currently stressed about anything else. Youngjae and Daehyun laugh about something. Junhong and Jongup seem to be having a completely different conversation, despite having started out talking with the other two. Yongguk has fallen asleep, somehow.

Himchan smiles.

It’s loud. Somehow he’s gotten used to it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just one more chapter after this! I honestly hadn't planned for this to be as long as it turned out.
> 
> the next chapter might be a bit longer? Because it'll be about all of them and such.


End file.
